About a year and a half ago, just after New Year’s Day, something dawned on me.

1. I was complaining about being stuck, without doing much about it.  I had felt this way for many, many months.  Working full time (or more), trying to perform 2-3 nights a week, trying to have time at home with my family… I was blessed to have so much in my life, but I was also burning the candle at both ends AND down the middle.  Something had to give, but I had no idea what, and had no time left in my day to figure it out.

2. This was completely normal – feeling stuck but thinking you’re too busy to do anything about it.  Or, when you do have “downtime,” crashing because you’ve been running around like a chicken with your head cut off for so long.  Who can make themselves get motivated to do anything productive in that state?  A lot of people feel like that, I think.

One day, I was stuck in traffic during another long commute on the Mass Pike.  Sitting there, I looked around and wondered about all the other solo commuters, sitting in their cars.  What were they doing?  Were they frustrated?  Did the see the parallel between being stuck in traffic and being stuck in life? And it came to me: I look around, and all I see are people sleepwalking.

It was a kick in the pants to myself: Stop doing what you’re doing just because it’s what you’ve always done.  Change doesn’t happen that way.  Getting unstuck doesn’t happen that way.  Freedom doesn’t happen that way.

When I *finally* got home, I wrote this song.   Want to listen?  Here’s a demo on my Soundcloud page.

Sleepwalking (title subject to change!)

Wake up to the truth that hides inside you
Make up your mind
Wake up to the fire burning just below the surface
Make up for lost time

I look around and all I see are
People sleepwalking
I look around, don’t want to be one of those
People sleepwalking

Take the time to notice something right here right now
Break the pattern of complacency
Take the time to be in this moment — your passion will come out
Break away and be free

I look around and all I see are
People sleepwalking
I look around, don’t want to be one of those
People sleepwalking

I don’t want to live my life on cruise control
Autopilot’s not the way to take on the world

In my way, my way, my way
My way, my way, my way

I look around and all I see are
People sleepwalking
I look around, don’t want to be one of those
People sleepwalking

(c) Kim Jennings

If you’re anything like me, it helps to read this when I need a mental kick in the pants.  I play this song out all the time – it keeps me grounded in how far I’ve come since writing it, and focused on all the things that are still to come.

KJ – Updated 6/13/2012 to include song demo link